Various One Shot ideas
by ChroniclerEnigma
Summary: Pretty much in the title. This is just practice and fun! :D I like writing.


Routine.

As usual, Sans was patrolling the woods. He was withdrawn to himself though- not watching for any threat at all that was external. His absentmindedness brought him to the foot of the Ruins Doors. He gazed up in the darkness at the towering stones… wondering.

Then he sighed and hung his head for a moment, brows knitting, as though disagreeing of something.

A blue neon light flashed beside him, swirling, gently illuminating the darkness.

Sans held up a hand, and seemed to tiredly flick at the doors.

In a great flash, the blue shot between the doors, lodging a terrible pale spike of bone between.

From his distance, Sans attempted to wedge the doors aside, but the bone began to crack. Growling in frustration, he summoned several more spikes at least his own height, and shot them between the doors.

Reaching forward with both hands as though he were putting his fingers between the doors, he began to tug- and like puppets with invisible strings, the bones began to pry the stones apart.

From beyond, a clattering sound like a pebble over grew louder and louder. The place sounded so hollow. Sans slowed is straining to listen to the peculiar sound.

Closer and closer…

Footsteps?!

Eyes going wide, Sans looked up.

A fierce set of ancient fiery eyes met his own, and said with a voice as sudden as a thundercrack:

Toriel:

The doors must stay closed!

In his own shock and break of concentration, Sans jumped back to avoid the doors slamming closed.

Slipping, Sans fell into the snow and blinked up in surprise at the doors as the bone spikes rained down in splinters around him.

Insatiably curious as to who'd broken his own magic like nothing, he jumped back up and approached the doors again, eyeing the magic wrapped over them twitch warningly.

Sans:

(after a moment, he asked: )

Who are you? Why are you locked up in here?

They did not answer.

Sans:

Fine… hope you don't mind then, I'm gonna sit here.

(So he sat down leaning against the doors, and he heard the other person slide down as well.)

Sans: Don't trust me or something, old lady?

Toriel:

Your sort are bad to the bone.

Sans:

Haha! Did you really just say that?

Toriel:

(There was a laugh, the woman said haughtily)

Yes. I have a bone to pick with you.

Sans:

What the…?

(he chuckled for a minute.)

I'm not sure how I feel about those jokes?

Toriel:

Why did you try to open the doors? Did someone send you?

Sans:

Send me? Nah… I was bored… why would someone send me?

Toriel:

Two big black doors in the middle of the woods… wouldn't someone like to know what's on the other side?

Sans:

(Sans sighed)

Yeah… plenty of people wanna know, but the doors are kinda unbreakable... and they're really heavy!

Toriel:

Yes… the weigh a skele-ton, you've gotta put more backbone into it!

(While Sans was laughing, she went on: )

Toriel:

Why did you try opening the doors?

Sans:

I dunno… Uh… I guess… I kinda just wanted to smash something… but they wouldn't really do that so opening them became the next best thing.

Toriel:

Bone to be wild, huh?

Sans:

Hah!

(Sans looked at the door as though it would be similar to looking at the woman)

Is your every reply gonna be a skeleton joke?

Toriel:

What, did I tickle your funny bone?

Sans:

Please stop.

(he was dying)

Toriel:

Are you kidding me? I've been dying to use these jokes. It would tibia shame to pass up the opportunity of talking to a bone-ified skeleton.

Sans:

Hahhahaha- agh- chiooo

(Sans sneezed enough to throw himself forward a little)

Ugh…

Toriel:

Was that a sneeze? What, got shin-gles or something?

Sans:

NO. Its just freezing cold out here and there's snow everywhere and I'm cold.

Toriel:

Huh. Its bone dry in here.

(she sighed.)

Don't like the cold?

Sans:

Heck no, it goes right through me.

There was a brief startled pause they burst out laughing.

Sans:

I can't breathe!

Toriel:

How do you?

Sans:

I don't know!

Toriel:

Are you okay?

Sans:

What?

Toriel:

You seem like you needed a good laugh.

Sans:

Heh… I dunno… I guess I'm fine…

Toriel:

Terrible liar.

Sans: What?

Toriel:

I can see right through you. Stop skulking around.

Sans:

Wow… okay… heh… I guess I should be a little less…

Toriel:

Stop being so sternum!

Sans coughed:

pfffft old lady, please, you're gonna kill me!

Toriel:

I highly doubt it… but that coffin might.

After a fit of laughing, they went on in quiet for a while.

Sans:

Welp... its getting dark… I guess I should be heading out.

(he climbed to his feet.)

Toriel:

Where to?

Sans:

Well, I'm kinda hungry…

Toriel:

Going to order some spare ribs?

Sans:

Hah, you know what?! You're jokes aren't even that humerus! Oh no. What have you done to me.

Toriel:

Hey, Sans!

Sans:

WHAT?!

Toriel:

Bone Appetit!

Thus began the start of a very punny relationship between a skeleton and a door.


End file.
